I grew up with my grandmother in the Philippines. When my mother left us to go abroad, my grandmother became our father and mother. I have so many beautiful memories with my grandmother. She was always there to protect us and defend us when someone bullied us in the school. I love my grandmother so much that it is really hard to accept that she is now gone forever.
We’ve recently came back from our holiday in the Philippines and I will tell you why it’s a bittersweet holiday. When I got to see my family including my grandmother, I was very happy to catch up with them. My grandmother gave me loads of kisses and cuddled me. She told me to visit her often but I did notice a big difference in her, in terms of health. She lost a lot of weight compared to when I saw her last year. My family, who’s looking after my grandma, told me that she recently lost her appetite and because of that she became weak and seemed to not be feeling well, so I told my mum to take her to the hospital for a check up.
My grandmother was admitted to the hospital because she was so weak and they had to give her dextrose and had few test such as X-ray etc. Our holiday went by so quickly that before I knew it I had to say goodbye to my family. We spent our last few days visiting a different area. Our flight was on the 6th September and on the 4th September we received the bad news that my grandma passed away in the hospital. I was so shocked as I wasn’t expecting her to go so soon. You can imagine all the crying so we decided to go back to pay our respects for the last time.
However, whilst everyone was so sad and grieving, my family also had to deal with funeral expenses as my grandmother had no funeral insurance and no one was prepared for it. This very difficult time made it even harder because my family were stressed financially so my husband and I had to step up and give some financial help in order to make things easier and this made me think of the future ahead and made me appreciate Life even more.
I have learnt that time with our loved ones is so precious that we should make the most of it when we are with them and I wish I had spent more time with my grandmother and told her how much I love her. I felt heartbroken and my job as a carer in a care home made it worse; I look after old people but never had the chance to look after my own grandma. Sometimes we just take for granted our loved ones and suddenly it is too late to tell them how much they mean to us, they are already gone. I have learnt to give more priority to my loved ones above anything else. Material things can be useless because it’s the time that we spend with them that they treasure the most, it’s the memories that cannot be forgotten but kept in our heart forever.
Another thing that I have learnt is to plan ahead about the future. Death is not something that we talk everyday or are comfortable to talk about. However, it is something that will happen to all of us so we have to be prepared everyday as we don’t know when our time will be up. When my family got stressed about the funeral bill and other expenses, it made me think of my own funeral too so I went online and saw Sunlife which show me what to do when someone dies so its easier in the future to deal something like this again.
Losing my grandmother was hard, I have not come to terms yet on how to accept it that it makes me feel sad. I even ask my fellow blogger on their tips to overcome grieving. Here are the following tips they shared.
Charlie from Our altered life said,
For me, it helped to talk out loud to her photograph. I update her on my day, hopes and fears. Sometimes I cry and tell her that I miss her. It makes me feel like we are still connected. I also focus on one or two very special memories I have of her and when I feel like I need her I take myself back to those places and it helps. I do think that grief is a very personal process but those things help me.
Zoe from Lycra Widow said,
Accept that grief becomes part of you. It’s not something you recover from, it gets easier to carry but it never goes away. You don’t recover from losing a loved one. I know this may not seem like something you want to read, but honestly knowing that is ok not to “get over” grief means I’m able to grieve at my own pace. I lost my dad 5 years ago. Some days are still really really hard, but that’s normal. Most of all be kind to yourself.
Kelly from My Silly Mummy said,
No one handles grief in the same way. You just need to do it your way, day to day. Try to remember all the good times, and know that she loves you and what helps for me is living a life she would of been proud for me to live. Grief never goes away but I PROMISE it will ease and you will be left feeling the warmth and love of your Nan.
Beth from Twinderelmo said,
Don’t rush your grief. People always told me when I lost my Mother that time would heal. It hasn’t healed but it’s made way for a new normal. It’s taken me almost 4 years to come to terms with losing her whereas people presume after you’ve got all the first milestones out the way that you’re over it; you’ll never be over it. Just accept it a little bit more.
Thanks to these following tips, I’m feeling better now. Perhaps, I’m more ready now to embark in life and thanks to my grandmother who opened my eyes to a better mindset for the future. I will always miss her and may she rest in peace wherever she is.
*In loving memory of my late grandmother Elena Abad